I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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