Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.

Fav 10 3317 1135
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.

Fav 10 4969 940
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.

Fav 25 1162 7100
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(352): View more from Florida

He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.

Fav 7 1114 4721
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(317): View more from Indiana

update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.

Fav 6 4210 996
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(620): View more from Kansas

He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.

Fav 20 4381 1149
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(312): View more from Illinois

I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"

(630): View more from Illinois

you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you

Fav 6 2426 798
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(587): View more from Alberta

I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.

Fav 0 51 6
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Thank you for always being there for me.

(828): View more from North Carolina

Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?

Fav 0 34 9
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