had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
