I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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