You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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