I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
