I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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