so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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