so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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