tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
