This girl is more easily done than said...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
