well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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