I looked at my own cervix.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
