Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
