loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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