I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
