dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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