Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
