the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
