the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize