A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize