So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
