The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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