well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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