The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
