turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize