I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
