I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i now understand why vodka
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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