He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Who died my cat blue again?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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