Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
