batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
