You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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