I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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