Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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