she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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