we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
