Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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