I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
