I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
