one might say we're banned from that church
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
