You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
