I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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