i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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