So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
