dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I think I just sharted jello shots
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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