Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
