I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
