you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Your cock deserves a montage
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize