The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
