I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
