you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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