ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
