I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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