I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
