UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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